The Verticle Workstation?
I thought we’d depart from education-based themes to examine what students are looking forward to — namely, work. Or to be more precise, the "vertical workstation." The vertical workstation was recently featured on a MSNBC.com segment entitled, appropriately, "What Were They Thinking?" Evidently, what some researchers at the Mayo Clinic were thinking was that American workers are a little too beefy, which is why they came up with a treadmill-mounted desk. Evidently, by walking while you work, you can burn about 100 calories an hour or about 66 pounds per year.
Now the associate editor at MSNBC.com poked some fun at the vertical workstation, which is probably well-deserved, but I happen to think the idea is genius. Here’s why.
First of all, it enables a new generation of legitimate excuses for getting out of work. Think about how many days-off you could secure with a high ankle sprain or a severe blister courtesy of your new workstation? Best of all, because these are work-related injuries you may be entitled to workers’ compensation.
Second, the vertical workstation could become a handy scapegoat for the usual work-a-day gaffes, like misspelling a co-worker’s name or forgetting to submit a weekly report. After all, it’s hard to walk and type at the same time, right?
Next, the vertical workstation will totally revamp the idea of business casual. Polo shirts and slacks will soon be replaced by dry-fit shirts, baggy shorts, running shoes, and iPods — all bearing the corporate logo, of course. Still, who wouldn’t want to dress down a little more for the sake of health and fitness in the workplace?
Finally, three words: "vertical workstation high." It is a common phenomenon for experienced runners to get a rush of endorphins about seven to ten miles into a strenuous run. And although I’ve never experienced this "runner’s high" myself, my calculations indicate that if I stepped onto a vertical workstation in the morning and slow-walked feverishly at a three-to-five-mile-an-hour clip, I could get several all-natural chemical fixes every day.
I don’t know about you, but that’s enough incentive to make me a vertical workstation junky? What about you?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Benjamin Welch has been a college instructor in writing and composition for nearly six years. When he’s not teaching or playing golf, he offers advice for students seeking information about continuing education, online education and online degrees.
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