DISTANCE LEARNING | CONTINUING EDUCATION | ONLINE DEGREES

I stumbled upon a college-themed website entitled "You Know You’re in College When …" — sort of a variation of Jeff Foxworthy’s "You Know You’re a Redneck If …" only for college students. After reviewing the list of 118 indicators, I came to the conclusion that while some signs are especially true of college life — i.e. "You pay $100 for a book you don’t read once, return it four months later, and get $7" — many signs are simply indicative of being young and poor. Still, very troubling … and yet somehow still very entertaining.

Here are ten of my favorite "signs" from the website as well as a few of my own.

1. High school started before 8 a.m., but now anything before noon is considered "early."

2. Your primary news sources are The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

3. You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.

4. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.

5. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger … when you’re both home.

6. You wear flip flops in the shower … you know why.

7. Old-school Nintendo and Guitar Hero are pretty much the best things ever.

8. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.

9. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.

10. You text faster than you type.

Not included in the list but also true of college life — at least in my experience — are:

11. When you go to "nice restaurants," you gorge yourself on the free appetizers — popcorn, chips and salsa, bread — and then order a soft drink or fries as your entrée.

12. The last time your car was legally registered was during the Clinton Years.

13. You have more than one item of clothing from the Salvation Army or another thrift stores — and it’s not part of a costume.

14. Every Saturday, you test-drive new cars or look at upscale furniture just to get the free hot dogs and drinks.

15. You can intelligently discuss Newtonian physics, the political philosophy of Adam Locke, and the poetry of John Donne, but you still can’t iron a shirt.

Any signs you would add to the list?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Benjamin Welch has been a college instructor in writing and composition for nearly six years. When he’s not teaching or playing golf, he offers advice for students seeking information about continuing education, online education and online degrees.