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It’s that time of year again. College Halloween parties are coming up, and you will want to come up with an original costume idea. Dressing up like an intoxicated Elvis (or Britney Spears, for that matter) isn’t funny anymore…if it ever was funny.

In order to be funny, costumes have to be original. Originality comes from putting a lot of thought into the costume. Sometimes, you can design your costume based on the people you will be attending parties with. For example, you can dress up as one of your coworkers or as one of your fellow students (in a respectful manner, of course), or as your boss or professor.

Also, some college parties ask you to wear costumes pertaining to a certain theme. If not, here are some examples of funny costumes I found on the Web that are original, and in my opinion, hysterical:

• A 1 Night Stand: Fabricate a night stand out of cardboard, paint some drawers on, apply handles, build a lamp to cover your head, and then paint the number "1" on the night stand. Voila. You are a one night stand.
• Static Cling Costume: Dress in all black. Tease your hair and apply hair spray so you get that 80’s ratted look (like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket). Attach socks, underwear and other clothing to your body with pins so it looks like you have a really bad case of static cling.
• Cereal Killer: Build a cereal box out of a large cardboard box that you can place over most of your torso. Then buy a large plastic knife, and paint some blood on your cereal box (if you want). This one will definitely make people think, but they’ll laugh when they get it!
• Piñata: This is a costume that is not only funny, but allows your friends to have a bit of fun at your expense. Dress up like a piñata by gluing or otherwise attaching colored strings, strips of colored paper and frilly fabrics to it. My advice is to wear a lot of padding underneath your colorful suit. Then, buy some foam bats and let your friends take a few swings. You can even let candy fall out of your hands.
• Construction Cone or Traffic Sign: A cone is probably easier to pull off. Just fashion some heavy duty cardboard into a cone around you, and spray paint it orange. Or, if you’re really ambitious, create one of those obnoxious blinking traffic signs with some boards, paint, and lights that blink using batteries. Paint "road closed" on the boards. Then, at the party, you can place yourself wherever you’d like in order to stop traffic! If you want, partner up with a friend who dresses as a construction traffic director with a sign that says "STOP" on one side and "SLOW" on the other.
• Gold Digger: This is a good costume for someone who wants to dress up but still be funny. Put on your slinkiest dress, paint your nails, overdo your makeup and hair, and wear really high heels. The more gold colors and jewelry you wear, the better. Then, carry a small shovel with a bucket of rocks (or pieces of foam) that you have spray painted gold.
• Gang Green: If there is a group of you going to the party together, here is a costume that is inexpensive and easy to do. Everyone should dress in green, from head to toe. Paint your faces green, and spray green color in your hair, if you want. There you go: gangrene.
• Jack-in-the-Box: Use a large cardboard box that you can fit inside. Reinforce it with heavy-duty tape, and cut a hole in the top that is just big enough for you to jump out of. Cut a hole in the bottom so you can walk. On the top hole, place a piece of fabric that will cover you while you are inside the box. Paint it as if it is a children’s toy, and create a handle on the side that people can turn. Then, dress up in a joker’s costume. Paint your face.
• Pin the Tail on the Donkey: Dress up all in brown, and if you can, design big hooves for shoes and gloves. Wear big donkey ears. Put a mane running from the top of your head down your back. You can even put a fake saddle and bridle on. Then, make a long tail out of yarn. Go around and ask people if they would like to "pin the tail on the donkey." Make sure you have a good sense of humor for this one…more than likely one of your friends will call you some different names for "donkey."
• Dart Board: Use large pieces of foam or cardboard to hang on the front and back of your torso. Cover them with really strong Velcro. Then paint dartboard rings and scoring numbers on the boards. Hang them over you with some straps. Darts should not be sharp!!! Make darts using Velcro as well, so that when people throw them at you, the Velcro from the darts and the boards stick to each other.

I hope these ideas helped, or at least got your creative juices flowing. If you have any more ideas, please add them below! Good luck and happy Halloween!

The first day you walk into a workplace, you can’t help but notice how everyone seems to be a certain kind of character. And each character comes together in that place where everyone would rather not be to make this weird microcosmic stew.

Needless to say, getting to know and getting along with your co-workers can be an interesting game. To help you out, I’ve provided the following guide to five common types of co-workers:

The Guffaw

Their loud laughter carries over every surface, every cubicle wall, so strong and crisp it sounds like they could be right next to you. Interestingly, the laugh is usually disproportionately large in comparison with the actual joke told. Often, there is no joke told at all, and the laugh represents the Guffaw’s confusion, embarrassment, or lack of intelligent things to say. Although an effective ice breaker at first, the Guffaw’s laugh quickly becomes an annoyance to co-workers as they catch on to its seemingly illogical pattern and especially when they are having a bad day.

The Guffaw can vary in its appearance. Many Guffaws wear a large grin that seems ready to burst with laughter. Oddly, other Guffaws wear an almost melancholy expression most of the time until presented with a joke, an embarrassing or confusing situation, or an opportunity to end a conversation quickly, at which time their gloomy countenance bursts into eerily lively laughter.

The Guffaw’s motto: "He who laughs loudest covers up his ineptitude, low intelligence, or fear." My advice: Laugh before they can and see what they do.

The Jester

Every workplace needs one. Since ancient times, kings have included jokers in their courts for the purpose of lightening the mood. The modern workplace does the same. The Jester continues to serve a vital function in today’s organizations: to keep everyone from throttling each other. The Jester gets most people to loosen up. Especially during very stressful times, the Jester gets people laughing and being themselves, providing very necessary distractions. They’ve always got a joke, a controversial comment, a drawerful of gags, and a bunch of dirt on every co-worker, which they jovially put to use for the greater good of the workplace. The Jester creates an essential counter balance to the corporate drive to turn all employees into automatons.

A word of caution, however: the Jester can be a double-edged sword for one key reason. They don’t know when to stop, their comedic urges being pretty much uncontrollable. This means that they will keep joking and roasting people without sensitivity for the situation. They are known to make comments about taboo bodily functions when a VP visits. Although managers enjoy the Jester’s contributions to team sanity, they also fear the Jester for their tendency to turn on leadership and burn them in front of the group, thus demolishing any semblance of authority or power. In today’s litigation-phobic business environment, Jester’s are a real risk as they can easily cross the line into sexual, racial, or other harassment.

The Jester’s motto: "Make ‘em laugh." My advice: Out-jest the Jester. That will humble them, gain their respect, and keep you off their hit list. For a fun time, match up the Jester with the Guffaw or the Jester with the Fuhrer (see below).

The Mouse

Their frightened, beady eyes dart about as they peer out of their cubicle. They hunch over their workstation like a squirrel over a nut. They wear a concerned look on their face. When confronted by the predators of the office, they stare up at them as if gazing into the headlights of an oncoming semi. These people seem born to cling to the bottom of the food chain, and they are called the Mouse. The Guffaw, the Jester, and the Fuhrer (see below) scare the Mouse to death- heck, everyone does.

Ironically, the Mouse can be in any position from the lowest underling to the manager. Regardless of rank, the Mouse is everyone’s victim; in fact, they can be your victim. If the Mouse is your boss, you can easily get time off, better chairs, and top-of-the-line equipment from them; they are especially useful when you want a raise or a promotion. If they are beneath you on the totem pole, they become a very accessible resource in times of need. Unfortunately, they are not ideal for representing your team to higher-ups. If this is your case, be prepared for the Mouse to come back empty-handed.

The Mouse’s motto: "I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt me." My advice: Talk very softly and never trust them to deliver an important message.

The Fuhrer

Flyers appear regularly on every surface of your workplace reminding employees of rules. You have to look over your shoulder before even thinking about disobeying protocol. Your managers seem to know your every move. A misplaced keystroke results in employees being scooped up by company secret police and never being heard from again. Your desk creaks under the crushing weight of piles of company operating manuals. These you are required to recite by rote once a month. Your company dress code has been narrowed down to charcoal gray, unisex jumpsuits made of the most uncomfortable material. Sorry to tell you this: you’re living under the reign of the Fuhrer.

The Fuhrer is best recognized by their inability to laugh, slouch, or otherwise act in violation of company policy. Seeing others violate, or even talk about violating, company policy is first incomprehensible and then deeply upsetting to the Fuhrer. They will first return to their workstation to return to optimal body temperature and then they will proceed to systematically eliminate the negative behavior.

You see, long ago, the Fuhrer rejected free thought in favor of rigid company policy. Every facet of their life, from the time they open their eyelids to the time they go to sleep, is performed in accordance with the company policy manual. They have the CEO’s autographed photo on a golden shrine in their cubicle. Every article of their clothing has the company logo embroidered on it. On Friday nights, they watch company propaganda videos. The Fuhrer can be found at every level of an organization, from entry-level to top management.

The Fuhrer’s motto: "Order." My advice: If you’ve amassed a significant undergound, stage a rebellion; if you are hopelessly outnumbered, quit.

The Cliche

"Step up to the plate." "Hold a pow wow." "Shoot an email." "Heads will roll." "It is what it is." "Put out fires." "Tighten our belts." "Throw them under the bus." "Turn it around." "Give 110 percent." "Value added." "Win-win situation." "Wheels coming off the train." "Have vision." "Think outside the box." "Paradigm shift." Everyone uses these- that’s why they’ve become cliches. However, the Cliche uses only these. They’ve become so immersed in the uncreative language of the workplace that they have literally lost their ability to form original phrases. Whatever part of the brain is responsible for original speech has withered within the skull and become useless.

The Cliche can be as easy to recognize as the Guffaw. When they open their mouth, it is as if someone has activated a tape recorder that replays the same things they said yesterday. The odd word is thrown in here and there to make it fit the current situation. When the Cliche encounters a situation that cannot be answered by a cliche, they suddenly fall silent, and a look of utter helplessness befalls them. On the bright side, the Cliche is relatively harmless, unless you find yourself adopting their vocabulary.

The Cliche’s motto: "You can say that again." My advice: To fight the mind-numbing effects of the Cliche’s verbology, read Shakespeare when you get home. You may also be able to reverse the Cliche’s condition by reading to them.

So, now that you’ve read the list, admit it: these people sit right next to you. And there are plenty of other types. Comment below and give me your list…

So you’re headed off to college. You’ve got your new college wardrobe, your brand new laptop, and maybe a crappy but cool car to get you around. You’re experiencing anxiety (your books cost your entire scholarship, oh, and your firstborn son), excitement (you just found out where the cheerleaders practice!), disappointment (your new place is the size of a post office box), and more excitement (the cheerleaders live next door!). Then comes perhaps the most important discovery of all: your roommate. Although the two of you have been thrown together by pure cosmic chance, this person will make or break your school year.

Roommates come in many shapes and sizes. Some will save your life. Others will make you want to take theirs. Most of all, love them or hate them, you are stuck with them. In tribute to these indispensable characters, I give you my list of five types of roommates:

The Buddy/The BFF

If you’re lucky, you got this one. They buy you food, introduce you to beautiful people, make your bed for you, and like the same movies you do. Buddy/BFF is clean but not to the point of making you feel bad that you aren’t. When a love interest comes to call, Buddy/BFF gives you your space and lets you work your mojo.

When their parents come to town and take them to dinner, they insist on bringing you along. Their mom sends care packages on a weekly basis, of which you become a direct beneficiary.

The Buddy usually also brings with them a spectacular entertainment system, a DVD library, a high performance gaming console, and a ridiculous amount of video games that he freely shares with all. The BFF brings with her an insanely stocked wardrobe with dozens of shoes and accessories that she insists you use.

The Buddy’s/BFF’s motto: "Mi casa es su casa." My advice: Keep your friends close, but keep the Buddy/BFF closer.

The Klepto

Your cologne or perfume has been disappearing faster than your free time. Shirts you just washed are found misplaced and with the unmistakable scent of body odor. Your food vanishes from the pantry. Scratches appear inexplicably on your DVDs. You could have sworn you had $20 in your lucky jar; now there is only $13 and some odd coins. Caution: you’re rooming with the Klepto.

The Klepto is congenial to your face, but, when they think you’re not looking, they are eyeballing your stuff with envy. They have a habit of leaving with their hand under their jacket just as you’re coming in. You have a strong feeling that they are trying to get away with something.

At their most frightening, Kleptos envy you and your stuff so much that they may actually try to steal your identity. Other, more benign tendencies include stealing your significant other, stealing your towel, and stealing your ideas. In some instances, Kleptos have been known to buy gifts for their victims out of guilt for pillaging their stuff.

The Klepto’s motto: "Su casa es mi casa." My advice: Buy a padlock and safe and install a hidden camera in your room.

The Slob

Unwashed dishes pile up in the sink. You haven’t seen your carpet in weeks, and a mass of dirty clothes and debris is now slowly inching down the hall. A vomit-inducing aroma is creeping from your roommate’s tower of Taco Bell containers. You’ve never seen your roommate do their laundry… ever. Your roommate doesn’t own any hygiene items- zero. Alas, you’ve been paired with the Slob.

Ah, the frustrating Slob- lovably low-stress but terrifyingly foul. They are cool with whatever you want to do. You never feel pressure to keep your stuff in order. Especially good, Slobs have been known to be very generous. But you also wouldn’t be surprised if the next Black Plague originated from their clothes hamper. Between the remnants of their last dinner experiment and their intestinal fanfare every five minutes, the ozone layer is thinning faster than the fabric on the cushions under the Slob’s sweaty rear end.

The Slob’s motto: "Let it be." My advice: A bonfire and a truckload of air freshener.

The Vampire

They are deathly pale and as silent as the grave. They prefer black light or no light at all. They sleep during the day and slip out of the house at night. When you try to strike up some conversation, they speak only under their breath, uttering muffled incantations about your impending doom. These are sure signs that you are living with the Vampire.

But, honestly, if you can get over the paranoid thought of getting the blood sucked out of your veins and being transformed into one of their blood lusting minions, living with the Vampire isn’t so bad. In fact, you pretty much have the whole place to yourself. They usually keep very little food (apparently, fresh blood provides the majority of their daily nutritional needs). And they tend to display a visible abhorrence for the possessions of the living. So you don’t need to worry about the Klepto stuff. On the other hand, if you crave socialization, you will need to look elsewhere.

The Vampire’s motto: something about enveloping the world in eternal darkness. My advice: Garlic tablets.

The Serious Student

You can live with the Slob and the Vampire. Heck, with some decent security precautions, you can even live with the Klepto. Ironically, however, the most difficult of roommates is the Serious Student. Serious Student went to college to study, earn as many degrees as possible, capture a Nobel Prize, and then take over the world. Having fun, socializing, and the general sound of happiness kindles in the Serious Student the deepest disgust and wrath.

The Serious Student is known to demand the highest degree of silence and reverence while studying. Any disruptive noise or action will throw the Serious Student into a silent, pent up fit. This usually consists of the Serious Student glaring at the offender with all due hatred, slamming their books shut, rising dreadfully from their desk, leaving the room, and then slamming a door. All of this is done without words.

Fortunately, should you happen to offend the Serious Student, you are less likely to see them. If you happen to be in the room at the same time, they will first make their disdain for you known and then they will exit. The more you offend the Serious Student, the less they will be seen.

The Serious Student’s motto: "Can’t you see how important my existence is?" My advice: offend them as often as possible.

Everybody’s got them. What types of roommates have you had? Share your roommate comments below…

Oh, how the saucy have fallen! Just yesterday, it seems, Britney was an unstoppable hitmaker, her dance moves and sculpted physique coveted by girls worldwide, appearing in videos, award shows, and movies. Britney Spears was, in a word, ubiquitous. Now, one Vegas wedding, one K-Fed, two kids, a stint or two in rehab, one divorce, one head-shaving, one embarrassing mess at the VMAs, one custody battle, and one night at the jail later, Britney is precariously close to killing her showbiz career for good. People keep saying it’s so sad, so terrible. Others keep saying she’ll come back…

Come on, folks! Get real. We’d all like to see her do her Britney thing again, with the 8-year-old-little-sister-trying-to-be-sultry voice, scorching glares, morphing hair, and blush-inducing seizures. But it’s time to help her move forward, to look to the future, instead of torturing her with the past. Like so many mega-stars before her, she couldn’t sustain her momentum forever. She just petered out a lot sooner than most other folks (which I actually see as a positive: imagine her writhing around in those outfits at forty or fifty. Yikes!).

It’s time to ask what Britney can do going forward. What other wonderful careers would fit with her skill sets? Of course, careers in dancing of an exotic nature probably come most readily to mind, but we here at Classes and Careers do not recommend such careers (she would never get the kids back). Having proven her serpent-handling skills, she might have a successful career as a herpetologist. Regardless, with her bubbly personality and charm, Brit is sure to be welcome in any workplace. Her singing and dancing would liven up any company picnic.

With so many options available, we thought it would be more helpful if we made a list of careers she should not pursue- to help her narrow things down a bit. The following are five careers we recommend Britney stay far away from. Hope these help, Brit:

1. Driver’s Training Instructor

Three words for you: hit and run. Four more words: driving without a license. These add up to a simple equation: Britney + teaching teens to drive = very, very bad idea. As captured by a video surveillance camera, Britney accidentally hit another car while trying to park in a parking lot, got out of her car, looked at the damage to her own car only, and walked away. Imagine her teaching that move to some 15-year olds. Now rumors are flying of her allegedly driving over a paparazzo’s foot (not that they don’t deserve it). Her bodyguard tells of her tendency to drive around with a Jack and Coke (which is illegal). Get Lindsay in the car as a co-instructor, and we’re talking some serious vehicular mayhem.

2. Bartender

I can just picture the bar manager tallying up the receipts with a puzzled look on his face and then turning to Britney: "I don’t know what it is, but we’re losing more alcohol than we’re selling. I can’t believe I have to order more Jack Daniels already." Britney wipes her chin, smiles innocently, swallows a big mouthful of something, shrugs her shoulders, burps, and hums "Oops, I did it again."

I know. I shouldn’t make light of others’ weaknesses. But that’s exactly my point. Brit has a soft spot for grandpa’s cough syrup. Let’s not make things harder on her by putting her in the lions’ den, so to speak. Give the girl a chance.

3. Guidance Counselor

I know it’s a bit late for this. She has, after all, been a role model for young girls (and some old girls) since her breakout performance in 1998. A generation of young women have grown up through adolescence trying to dance like her, sing like her, talk like her, dress like her, smell like her, and get their bodies altered to look like her.

However, it’s never too late to stop the madness, especially now, as she descends into drug addiction, alcoholism, showing an utter disregard for the unwritten law of wearing underclothes, and a veritable smorgasbord of other irresponsible actions. Let’s wait for Brit to grow up a little before she mentors anymore youth.

Besides, can you imagine how many boys would get sent to the office on purpose just to get reprimanded by Ms. Spears?

4. Parenting Specialist

She has custody. She loses custody. She can have monitored sleepovers with the boys. Now she… I’m seriously confused. Obviously, some people have grave concerns about Britney’s ability to be a responsible, nurturing mother figure. "I’ve been concerned about her erratic behavior from day one," says Britney’s former bodyguard, Tony Barretto. "I couldn’t stand by and let the kids stay around her any longer. She has mental problems, and they are not helped by her taking drugs and alcohol."

Whether you’re in the "Leave-Britney-Alone" camp or the "She-Is-Ruining-Her-Life-And-Career-But-It-Sure-Is-Scintillating-To-Watch" peanut gallery, you have to agree that Britney’s views on parenting should not be disseminated to the general public. They certainly should not be given to others as credible advice.

Maybe years from now, when Britney is clean, has seen the error of her ways, has written several books about her journey from self-destruction to enlightenment, and is one of those weathered, smoky-voiced Hollywood matrons, she can give some good parenting advice (mostly what not to do). But let’s wait until then.

5. Professional Matchmaker

Britney can’t pick compatible mates for herself, much less for others. To support this, I offer two pieces of evidence: K-Fed and Jason Allen Alexander, who wasn’t even around long enough to receive a faux street abbreviation of his name (maybe J-Al-Al or J-Lex).

After breaking up with Justin Timberlake, she obviously preferred "normal" guys. Her Vegas marriage to J-Lex lasted a whopping 55 hours, which leads one to wonder: What did Britney discover about him, or vice versa, within that timeframe that made her go, "Like, what have I done? I need an annulment now!"? Was it just a publicity stunt? A plea for attention? A genuine attempt at marital bliss? Who knows? Does she even know?

Then we have K-Fed, one of her back-up dancers and utterly unimpressive from the start. Hmmm, let’s put the two together: global superstar pop goddess, rich beyond imagination, a type-A personality for sure who has been positioned and groomed her whole life to be such; and then an unspectacular, unambitious, wannabe-Slim Shady dancer. Who would be the dominant partner, the bull? Who would be the cow? The result: a train wreck waiting to happen. Does anyone see any degree of compatibility here? I guess, they both like to dance- that’s something, right? But even in dancing, K-Fed was just scenery for the ever-dominant Britney. As onstage, so in their married life.

Being a professional matchmaker requires skill and insight in recognizing compatibilities between people. One must recognize that certain people will not go well with certain others. Does Britney have that ability? No. Does she seem to understand that successful romantic relationships are built on more than a need to have someone who is called your partner? Nope.

We wish the best for Britney in whatever career she pursues. Our girl Britney needs some help and guidance, and we’re here to offer it, genuine and brutally honest. Britney fans, don’t hate. We’re on your side. What other careers should she stay away from? Do you hate us for writing this? Do you love us? Leave your hate/love in the comments box below. Peace out!