DISTANCE LEARNING | CONTINUING EDUCATION | ONLINE DEGREES

Finals have concluded. The seemingly endless stream of readings, papers, projects, and exams has ceased for the moment. Another term is behind the college students of America.

Some students will go home for the holidays. Some will stay in their dorm or apartment. Certainly, everyone will find themselves attending parties, catching a movie, stuffing themselves silly, or watching football until their eyes glaze over. At some point during the next few weeks, inevitably, the question will arise: "So now what?" For hard-working students used to having too little time, this question can induce uneasiness and even panic. For others, elation and celebration.

Should you find yourself with nothing to do- heaven forbid- over the break, check out my list below of things to do when you have nothing else to do over the holidays:

1. Test the matches-turning-into-the Eiffel-Tower thing.

Once upon a time, a well-respected scientist stated that the chances are higher that there is extraterrestrial life in the universe than if you threw a bunch of matches into the air and had them come down in a perfect likeness of the Eiffel Tower. This, then, begs the question: just how likely is that? Well, since you’ve got some time on your hands, you can do mankind a great service and find out.

It’s simple: just keep throwing those matches up again and again. Using a spreadsheet, keep track of the times they come down in the shape of the Eiffel Tower versus they times they don’t. With a little perseverance and a lot of time, you might finally solve this age-old mystery and potentially find yourself in the running for a Nobel prize next to Mr. Gore. With this vital information, we could finally get this space program thing moving. And you, my friend, would become the Columbus of your time over the course of one holiday break.

2. Break the record for number of times watching A Christmas Story in one sitting.

Every year, over one tortuous week, certain cable channels play the Christmas "classic" (which is code for "so over-watched that no one watches it") A Christmas Story back to back to back. So, just in case someone missed the first, second, or twelfth airing of the film, they can still catch it. So, it stands to reason that someone must have made a world record out of how many times someone has sat down and watched the cursed thing back to back.

Are you ready to have the title ‘World-Record Holder’ after your name? This task is not for the faint of heart. The human brain has a certain threshold for how many times it process that phrase "you’ll shoot your eye out" before it triggers seizures. Even the very cinematography of the film, with its holiday ’70s kitsch dripping from every frame, can drive one to near insanity over several viewings. If you are to attempt this feat, please do some preliminary exercises. Your warm-up films should be appropriately cliched, annoying, and kitschy. Some great warm-ups are The Wizard of Oz (1939), Annie (1982), and Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971).

3. Attempt the Leche Challenge.

For the uninitiated, this challenge consists of one person sitting down with a gallon-sized jug of vitamin D milk and attempting, over the course of an hour, to drink the entire gallon. Because of an adverse reaction between large amounts of milk and the stomach juices, most people find themselves too full after only half a gallon to finish the rest. The milk doesn’t digest fast enough to finish the entire gallon within an hour. I’ve personally seen people rushed to the bathroom as the milk runs out of space in the stomach. Nasty stuff!

But if you have a larger stomach than normal and you’re ready to be recognized for it, grab a gallon of Vitamin D milk (no cheating with that skim stuff), a stopwatch, and a friend, and get ready for an intense hour. Consider throwing in a wager for some additional excitement. You will return to school with a new badge of honor.

4. Create your own sequel to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Haven’t you ever wondered what happened to Rudolph, Clarice, Hermey, Yukon Cornelius, the Abominable Snowman, and all those crazy misfit toys? Does the yeti go berserk and start eating elves and reindeer, Jurassic Park-style? Does Yukon trick Hermey into a scheme to overthrow the Santa monopoly once and for all? Ah, the possibilities. That’s why it’s way past time for the beloved, stop-motion classic to be retired. It came out in 1964, for goodness sake.

The good news is, you can be the one to create the sequel. All it takes is your parents’ garage, some clay, a camera, lots of film, and lots of white powder. And at 24 frames per second to be created and shot (that would mean roughly 64,800 frames for an hour-long TV special), this would be especially time-consuming. But that’s what you were looking for, right?

5. Perform a random act of kindness.

Okay, so this what you really should be doing (as opposed to watching with glee as your friend throws up chunks of curdled milk). With some free time on your hands, why not help your elderly neighbor with their garbage? Why not stop to help that guy with the flat tire in the snow storm? Why not volunteer at a soup kitchen? The holidays are a great time to make the world a better place without people looking at you like you’re mentally disturbed. You may not get a Nobel prize or earn a new world-record-holder title, but this one’s guaranteed to be worth your time.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.

Some things in life are so hyped that, when you finally experience them, they are a big letdown.

For example, when rumors that Star Wars: Episode One was finally being produced after a decade and a half of waiting and speculating, the planet exploded with the chatter of millions of fans. The seeds last planted with The Return of the Jedi had germinated and sprouted fruit far beyond creator George Lucas’ control or ability. When the movie was released, those same rabid fans rushed the theaters, only to emerge two hours later mostly disappointed. “The acting was terrible,” they said, “Too many special effects. Bad accents. Too much Jar Jar Binks. No Han Solo. Etc. etc. etc…”

The fact of the matter was, with all the build-up, all of the hype and fantasizing, no movie would have measured up to expectations.

So, you’re probably wondering what this has to do with school or careers, which is what we usually write about here. I assure you I am getting to a point, and the point is this: holiday bonuses, like the Phantom Menace, will almost always fail to meet expectations. You work all year-long for that proverbial carrot and, when you finally get it in your hands, the darned thing looks so… tiny.

My advice to those disappointed throngs out there: don’t depend on or think about the bonus. To rely on the holiday bonus is the path to frustration, resentment, and sadness.

All year long, your boss will tell you that the better your performance, the higher your bonus. If you exceed these goals and make the company a million dollars and find a cure for cancer, they will increase your bonus rate by two percentage points. Your eyes flash with dollar signs, thinking about what you could do with 8, 10, or 12 percent of your annual pay. You could get little Timmy those braces he so badly needs. You could take that trip to Aruba. You could build that deck. So many possibilities. And so you begin including the bonus in your financial plans for the year.

The year goes on. You are sure you’re exceeding all expectations, creating value, yada yada yada. You’ve already picked out that new car for which you will use your huge bonus as a down payment.

Then comes the day of your performance evaluation, the one which will ultimately determine how large your bonus will be. The boss sits down with you and tells you your performance has been fine. You show room for improvement in proper labeling techniques and some other obscure performance category. So he’s proud to inform you that you qualify for a mid-sized bonus. That’s okay with you. At least it wasn’t the smallest one.

A couple weeks later, the bonus hits your bank account. You’ve had to scrap plans for the new car, but you may still be able to work out a Caribbean cruise. You check your account and have to rub your eyes and squint to make sure you’ve read it right. It may just be your imagination, but it looks like only half of the expected amount made it. You go to the payroll people in disbelief. They inform you that holiday bonuses are taxed at a higher rate than regular pay. No mistake has been made. What you see is what you get.

You head home dejected, feeling duped and angry. There will be no new deck, no cruise. Timmy will have to settle for crooked teeth. You’ll be lucky to be able to pay for those presents you already bought.

But then, of course, if you’ve already received your holiday bonus, you already know exactly what I’m talking about.

To avoid this situation, I advise that you treat the bonus as if it doesn’t exist. Plan and budget without taking that extra pay into consideration. Then, when it comes, you will be happy because it’s just extra money. You didn’t have your hopes up and you weren’t depending on it.

Are you disappointed with your bonus? Do you feel shafted by the boss and those sneaky IRS guys? Gripe below…

"Quit." The word is usually synonymous with giving up, surrendering, or rolling over. In the workplace, however, quitting a job is a pivotal moment in your career progression. It can be done poorly (telling the boss, "You can’t fire me. I QUIT!!!" and then storming out, sobbing like a child) and haunt your track record for the rest of your career. Or it can be done strategically and keep your resume strong and unblemished.

Now that I’ve covered some of the signs that quitting is a good option, I want to share some successful quitting strategies to help those dissatisified employees out there to move smoothly from unpleasant occupations to job bliss:

1. Prepare other options. When you are in a difficult job, everything in you just wants to get out of the situation. The moment you realize the job is a bad thing for you, you really just want to grab your things, collect your last paycheck, and run. But to what would you run? A Caribbean vacation? A month-long marathon of all the Days of Our Lives seasons you’ve missed while working? Then what? Sooner or later your last paycheck would run out, and, frankly, soap operas get pretty repetitive. You need another job to jump into after quitting.

So, if you’re planning on saying sayonara to the workplace, start developing options months in advance. Start sending out resumes, networking, and attending job fairs. This may mean polishing up your interviewing skills or your resume.If you time this right, you will be able to step seamlessly from one job to the other without any interruption in cash flow. Some people like to take a short sabbatical in between jobs to get refreshed and rested and go into their next position with guns blazing. If your pocketbook can bear it, I recommend this.

Also,- and this may seem elementary- be honest with yourself in picking your next career move. If you really hated all of the lawyers you dealt with in your last position, think twice about taking that legal secretary position. If accounting work put you into a coma at your last job, be careful about taking any more accounting jobs. In short, do not move from one mistake to another. Do your very best to find a job that will engage your interest and allow you to grow. This will keep you from finding yourself in the same situation a year from now.

2. Patch up old bridges. You may hate your boss. You may firmly believe that they wronged you and you have every right to complain. However, one day, you will apply for bigger and better positions. Hiring managers will want to know about how you really performed at ABC Corporation. They will want to contact that boss you didn’t get along with. And you will want that boss to give you a positive recommendation. Thus, no matter how much you would really like to just rearrange your boss’ dental work, it is in your best interest to repair bridges with them instead of burning them.

All this requires is a mature, professional conversation in which differences are addressed and some level of understanding is reached. This may be difficult for some. Talking with your boss, your arch-nemesis, may seem less pleasurable to you than drinking raw sewage. But you’ve got to take a larger view, be the better person, and initiate the conversation. Otherwise, this person’s unfair opinion of you will continue to haunt your career. Don’t let them have any more power over you. Talk it out and repair those bridges.

3. Finish strong. Once you know the end is near and you really have no allegiance left toward your company, you can just coast, fool around, and make mischief, right? Wrong. The point made in number 2 is also true here. These people will one day tell others what kind of employee you were. Make sure they can give you a favorable report card.

As you are preparing for your departure, be extra helpful. Help managers train your replacement. Speak positively to them of your experience with the company. Get all of your work done. Volunteer to help others. Don’t be caught with idle hands. Make your manager wish they had treated you better by showing what a great asset you are. Keep up your hard work until 5 o’clock on your very last day. At the very least, you will leave knowing that you upheld your part of the bargain. You also leave the opportunity open for your boss to think and speak well of you.

Have you felt trapped at work? Unappreciated? Underused? Can you not stand the smell of your boss’ cheap Old Spice another day? Then join the thousands of U.S. workers that will tell their bosses adios this holiday season and move on to greener pastures.

It turns out that December and January are the ideal time to quit because of two words: holiday bonus. Employees have been holding their tongues all summer long, holding out for that precious extra cash. And managers have been dangling it in front of their faces like the carrot before the horse. Once December rolls around and you get that check in your hand, it is the perfect time to hand in your two weeks notice.

In all fairness, of course, every job has its rough times. Every employee has something about their job that they dislike. Unfortunately, many hasty individuals have made the mistake of overreacting to the unpleasantries of their job and jumping ship early, only to find themselves drowning in a sea of unemployment and no-money-ness and wishing they had never left. Also, hasty ship-jumping can leave a nasty black mark on your resume. The lesson: quit strategically and only after careful analysis of the consequences.

To assist the dissatisfied in this analyses, I present the following three sure-fire signs it is time to move on:

1. You dread going to work every morning. Normal employees have the odd morning where they do not want to go into work. It’s natural. That’s why we have paid leave. But, if the thought of going to the workplace makes you sick to your stomach every morning, your job may not be the best fit for you.

Generally, you should find some satisfaction in your chosen profession. It’s good for you, for your mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s good for your family and friends who have to be around you after work. Conversely, dissatisfying jobs rob you of peace of mind. They make you irritable, withdrawn, and just plain unhappy. And there is no shame in admitting that you hate your job and need to find one you like. Ultimately, it’s best for you, your loved ones, and your employer.

2. You haven’t been promoted or had a raise in a long time. Promotions and raises are signs of progress, a sign that you are a contributing member of the company. The lack thereof indicates, at least from the boss’ perspective, that an employee has stalled in their progress or outlived their usefulness.

The wise employee will discuss this concern with their manager. It may simply be a matter of raising one’s voice to get their attention. Often, managers innocently fail to track their employees’ progress. By bringing the issue to their attention, you may get back on their radar. Simply put, communication is key.

If you find out that they haven’t promoted you because they think you are incapable of anything more advanced than placing files in alphabetical order, consider this a good sign that it’s time to move on.

3. Your workstation doubles as a storage area. Managers have ways of delivering hints to unwanted employees. Often they want to toss someone but are silently awaiting a legal opportunity to do so. Other more cowardly managers take a more indirect route. They make things difficult for the problem employee, trading out their computer for an inferior model, moving their workstation to that narrow space between filing cabinets, and stacking piles of boxes in their cubicle. This means the boss doesn’t like you. Most likely, you don’t like them either.

If you experience this kind of behavior from your superior, you have a few options: 1) wait for them to lay you off, which will at least probably come with some kind of severance but will mean explaining at future interviews why you got canned; 2) wait for them to fire you, which would mean they found a legitimate reason to send you away with no severance pay; or 3) quit, which would give you no black marks to discuss in future job interviews but also no severance package. Quitting is the best option if you have another job to jump right into.

Everybody deserves to have a job that they like, at least some of the time. Don’t stay in a job you hate. Take note of these signs and know when to quit.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.