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Most workplaces get pretty boring, especially after the holiday season. The decorations come down. All that holiday cheer and free food disappears. People grow grim and depressed at the prospect of three months ahead without any major holidays. The gray walls begin to blend in with the oatmeal-colored cubicles and carpets. On top of this significant drop in office morale, all of the year’s new projects kick into gear at once, inundating desks with ridiculous amounts of requests, meeting invitations, and memos. Not a fun time.

But you don’t have to be satisfied with this morasse of malcontent. You can be the deliverer to bring fun and smiles back to the workplace and free your co-workers from possibly terminal boredom. It doesn’t take a pep rally to liven things up, just a few old school antics that you thought you left in immaturity. Below I give you the top five of these. They are guaranteed to loosen up your co-workers (or get you fired, if someone puts an eye out):

1. Paper Football

With a single sheet of paper, a desk, and two pairs of hands, you and a co-workers can entertain yourselves through four quarters of paper-flicking fun. You just fold the paper into a tight triangle, your opponent forms a goalpost with his hands, and you try to flick the paper through his hands. I believe extra points should be rewarded for hitting your opponent in the forehead, but I am yet to get an opponent to agree with me on that one.

In case the boss comes around, this game is easy to conceal. Keep an important-looking spreadsheet nearby. When you hear the boss approaching, simply signal a timeout, lower your hands, pocket the triangle, stare at the spreadsheet with a concerned look, and state, "No, I’m not satisfied with that IRR. It needs to be higher." The boss will beam with pride and return to his office believing that his department is in good hands.

2. Paper Clip Toss With a high risk of bodily injury, this game also provides a visceral thrill to get that adrenaline pumping. Assuming your neighbor on the other side of the cubicle wall is game, you simply toss a paper clip over and watch a war ensue. They’ll say, "Hey!" Then a paper clip flies over at you in retaliation. Next, you can strike immediately or wait until they’ve settled back into their work. The latter is a better option because of the element of surprise. They might say "Hey!" again or "Ow!" if you hit them in the eye.

To enhance the game, you can secretly provoke a war between two of your neighbors. It’s easy. You just throw a paper clip at one at such an angle that they think it came from your other neighbor. If they retaliate against your other neighbor, then you can just sit back and enjoy the show. If they don’t retaliate initially, you can prod the other neighbor by throwing a paper clip at them. Keep alternating back and forth until they commit to full-on war, then enjoy the show.

3. Rubber Band War

This game raises the stakes even higher. Welts are highly possible as are eye injuries. Even more risky, however, accurate firing of rubber bands requires a direct line of sight. You have to stand up, move around, or otherwise expose yourself to a possible sighting by the boss. Also, unlike with many co-workers will not take kindly to the snap of a rubber band. Shooting the wrong person can easily get you reprimanded or fired. Therefore, pick your targets carefully.

One more caveat: don’t get carried away. Discreetly peeking and shooting each other can quickly escalate into running around the room, giggling, and otherwise exposing yourself to the boss. At that point, it would be impossible to conceal your involvement.

4. Swivel Chair Merry-go-round

This game is for the bold only. An employee whirling around at high speeds is bound to catch someone’s eye. An employee falling out of the chair and hurling all over the floor is bound to get someone fired. But, for the brave, I recommend this game. One employee takes a seat in a swivel chair. Another employee takes hold of the chair and spins it. They keep spinning it faster and faster until the employee in the chair begs for mercy. At this point they are so dizzy and nauseous that they will probably lose their balance. Keep them seated for at least a minute to avoid head injuries. They may need to go home for the rest of the day with a headache so use this one sparingly.

This game should be played when the boss is stuck in a meeting, out of town, or at home. Also make sure that the chair used is solid and in good working condition.

5. M.A.S.H.

No, not that Korean War TV show. I’m talking about that classic old school game that has entertained elementary school kids for decades. You know, Mansion Apartment Shack House? Considerably less dangerous, this game requires a pen, paper, and at least two people. Its whole purpose is to predict who you will marry, what you will drive, what color your ride will be, how many kids you will have, where you will live, what job you will have, and what kind of residence you will live in. For instance, I just played it online and ended up marrying Sandra Bullock, driving a blue minivan, having twenty kids, living in a house on the poor side of the tracks, and working as a garbage man, all of which isn’t too far from reality.

For the uninitiated, here are the instructions. You write down five people, five automobiles, five colors, five numbers of kids, five locations, and five jobs, all of these being possibilities for the employee’s future. Of course, some of the options have to be less desirable than others. You arrange these lists in a row. You then tell the administrator your favorite number. They take the number and count down the list. Every time they reach your lucky number they cross off that item. They repeat this process, going through the lists again and again until only one item remains in each category.

Let the games begin and the boredom end! If not you, who? If not now, when? Seize the day and free your co-workers from the doldrums of the workaday world. And don’t blame me if you are handed your possessions in a box and told to leave immediately.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.

Long ago, I was a rabid fan of the reality competition The Apprentice. In fact, I watched it for four straight seasons before I began to tire of the repetitive situations, whiny, immature contestants, and recycled soundtrack. When it first came out, professors at top MBA programs nationwide actually encouraged their students to tune in to the show. It was billed, after all, as a chance to learn business from the Donald himself. Sadly, it collapsed into catfights and unrealistic portrayals of life in business.

Last week, however, I found my interest piqued once again by the stale franchise. Why? Because, this time, well-known celebrities would be competing instead of shallow, one-dimensional corporate eager beavers. Players included Gene Simmons, a Playboy playmate, Alec Baldwin’s brother, and other fairly familiar faces. The playmate went down predictably in the first round, eaten alive by the toxic (and, I might add, overrated) Omarosa. With a gruff expression, Trump mumbled to his daughter about how the slaughter was necessary, just how business is. Kids, teens, and grown-ups considering business careers nodded their heads in acceptance. People who work in the business world scratched their heads, saying, "That’s never happened at my office."

Which brings me to my point: despite the presence of the undeniably successful Trump, the view that The Apprentice gives of corporate business is so far from reality that it is a disservice to those ignorant to the ways of the business world. The attitudes learned on The Apprentice can actually be detrimental and destructive to the individual and the organization that espouse them.

Catfights - Losing your cool, raising your voice, and making personal attacks on co-workers has become generally unacceptable in most companies. Furthermore, it just makes the attacker look undisciplined, unrefined, and immature. Yelling and screaming have disastrous effects on productivity, morale, and employee turnover. When employees are angry at each other, their interactions and cooperation are impeded, communication breaks down, and things don’t get done like they should. People don’t feel like coming to work or trying hard. Many workers leave the uncomfortable environment altogether, seeking jobs where they can feel at ease. These effects are expensive. Therefore, most companies go out of their way to eliminate such situations or prevent them altogether. They certainly don’t sit there like the TV Trump and watch it patiently. This isn’t the mafia- this is a corporate office. Companies that let their employees carry on like that will soon find themselves under their competition’s boot.

Bulldozers - To get to the final challenge on The Apprentice, one has to have thrown alot of people under the bus, people who were loyal to and supportive of them, people who actually did a good job and didn’t deserve to get run over. Thus, The Apprentice preaches the virtue of the bulldozer. It teaches that success in business comes by backstabbing, double-crossing, and manipulation of interpersonal relationships. I imagine organizational behavior scholars cringe at this because it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Numerous studies have shown that those who excel in business are, more often than not, those who communicate and influence people the best. That is not to say that these individuals are without ambition. It only means that they move up the ladder through motivating those around them instead of crucifying them.

Glamour - Perhaps to keep audiences involved, The Apprentice features one flashy advertising or PR challenge after another. You know, bungee jumping out of a hot air balloon in Central Park or using supermodels to sell dental floss. And this continues week after week, as if to say, business success belongs to those who can make the biggest extravaganza. In truth, however, that is not business so much as it is marketing communications and events planning. Real success in business comes from a company’s ability to streamline its production and supply chain, target its key consumers, and efficient manage its resources. The Apprentice rarely even touches on these important facets. Trump is more likely to find a great planner for his next wedding than he is to find a worthy apprentice.

Don’t believe what you see, kids! Business is not about going to the boardroom and out-arguing others. It’s not about making the biggest noise. On the contrary, it is about disciplined planning and execution of every little detail and then a little serendipity. Best of all, people don’t have to, and usually don’t, get fired every week.

A new year brings new opportunity. People want to kick their bad habits. Some people want to change the world. The old man with the toga gets kicked out, replaced by the baby. You know, second chances and all that good stuff. If you find yourself in a career that has you dissatisfied, maybe because of low pay, lack of growth potential, or toxic environment, you may be thinking this is the year for a new career.

Depending on how far along you are in your career, jumping to a new career might be a big step for you. Switching careers might mean a significant pay cut. It might mean going back to school. It might mean moving to a new area. It might mean returning to square one, where you are the underling and you know nothing. What I’m trying to say is, moving to a new career is a big jump and should be decided on only after thorough research and soul-searching.

How do you know if you should start a new career? Dozens of questions could follow to answer this question. To start off, consider the following three questions:

1. What do I want? Too few people ask themselves what job they want to do, what they could do everyday and feel satisfied and engaged, or what their life’s passion is. The lucky ones are passionate about the big ticket jobs, like i-banking, entrepreneurship, or the law. Too many of us are truly passionate about things that are not considered secure or profitable.

Don’t get me wrong. Money is very important. But it isn’t the only consideration. I’ve harped on this before but only because it is regrettably true. Too many people pursue careers they have no passion for because of concerns over money. They mistakenly believe that the joy of being financially secure will replace the boredom and resulting mediocrity of being in a career that puts you to sleep.

A mentor of mine, a very rich one at that, once admonished me to work in whatever field I am passionate about. His words were, "Passion breeds excellence. If you do what you love, you will move up, be noticed, and make a contribution to the world. If you don’t do what you love, you will always be mediocre and second-rate." Consider that advice. "Pragmatism" tells us to take whatever we can get, give up what we love for security. It tells us passion won’t put food on the table or a roof overhead. But this so-called "pragmatic" viewpoint, a relic of the industrial age, includes one sadly false presumption: that one cannot follow one’s passion and make enough money to pay the bills. We live in the information age. Never has anyone been so able to take whatever their passion is and turn it into a very good living. The choice now is not passion versus security; it is passion versus mediocrity.

If you really want to move beyond just surviving from one unfulfilling job to the next and you really want to shine, consider this question first and consider it carefully. Remember: passion breeds excellence.

2. What do I need? Speaking of pragmatism, bills need to be paid, food does need to be provided, and shelter and health is preferrable. So, after zeroing in on what you are passionate about, it’s time to ask yourself what basic needs you need to have covered. This may mean determining how much you need to make at a minimum. It may also mean determining family obligations. Ask yourself what you can survive on and what you can really do.

By way of caution, be careful not to pad your projected budget with too many luxury items. For example, you may be budgeting several hundred dollars for a new Coach handbag. You may be used to taking Tahitian vacations every month to restore your tan. As long as you consider these items a necessity, you will find yourself tied down. Be willing to give these up (at least temporarily), and you may find you have more flexibility than you think. That career in ice sculpting may be closer than you think.

Of course, you may find that your needs eclipse what you can make in your dream job. If, for example, you’ve always loved collecting and arranging acorn tops into geometric patterns, but you’ve got a wife and seven kids to provide for, following your passion full-time might not be a responsible course of action. That does not mean, however, that you can’t begin working on your acorns on a part-time basis. A lot of people who have gotten into doing jobs they love have accomplished this by building it gradually on the side until it is big enough to sustain their lifestyle.

Be realistic about your needs and look for opportunities to work toward your passion.

3. When is the best time? Timing is everything. Deciding what you love to do does not necessarily make this the perfect time to make the jump. You need to take a variety of factors into consideration. Do you have the right educational basis or do you need to go back for some training? Do you have a solid financial position to work from? Do you have the personal contacts and relationships you need to make it work? Do you need an extra year or so to get ready? Is there an opportunity currently available that will disappear if you wait too long?

Carefully plot out your timetable, decide where your window of opportunity will be, and go for it.

Here’s wishing you the best in your career progress in 2008. If you make it big as the prime provider of acorn decor, Classes and Careers does accept donations and don’t say I never gave you anything.