DISTANCE LEARNING | CONTINUING EDUCATION | ONLINE DEGREES

Recently, Forbes published their report of the twenty-five best-paying jobs in the United States. Not surprisingly, the health care industry ranked well; what was surprising, however, was just how thoroughly health care beat out its competition (think Michael Jordan in his hey-day). It wasn’t even close.

Of the fifteen highest-paying jobs in the United States, thirteen resided in health care. Only chief executives — #10 — and airline pilots — #14 — managed to crack the ranks of their white-coated cohorts. Incidentally, at the top of the list were anesthesiologists, who average about $184,000 per year. Not a bad cut for simply putting people to sleep. Al Gore does that for free.

What this means is that if you are going back to school or thinking about a career change, you may want consider the same advice that Mark Felt (a.k.a. “Deep Throat”) once gave two plucky journalists from The Washington Post — follow the money.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Benjamin Welch has been a college instructor in writing and composition for nearly six years. When he’s not teaching or playing golf, he offers advice for students seeking information about continuing education, online education and online degrees.

Think your job is bad? Tired of arbitrary deadlines, endless meetings, and pointless performance reviews? Well, before you consider quitting your job, you may want to consider other undesirable occupations. You might discover that your job isn’t so bad after all. Check-out the jobs listed below and vote for the real "worst job ever."

1. Roadkill Collector. Pretty self-explanatory. Roadkill collectors not only have the job of peeling the remains of dead creatures in various states of decay off the road, they also get to do it while braving oncoming traffic.

2. Manure Inspector. Animal manure is an important natural fertilizer, but first it has to be checked for contaminants like E.coli and salmonella. That’s where manure inspectors come in: not only do they get to search for bacteria that causes bloody diarrhea if ingested, they also get to wade through animal waste. Quite a 1-2 punch.

3. Portable Toilet Cleaner. You had to know this one was coming. First of all, I have serious reservations about using portable toilets, much less cleaning one. Portable toilet cleaners pick up leftover toilet paper, spray on a de-greasing solution, hose the entire unit down with scalding water, scrub, squeegee, dry, and then finish it off with a deodorizing spray. And yet, even after all of this, I would rather take my chances in the woods …

4. Crime-Scene Cleaner. If not the dirtiest, this is definitely the most mentally disturbing job. Crime-scene cleaners wear hazmat suits, respirators, and chemical-spill boots; still, they must have strong stomachs as they brave blood, decomposition, and the loose remains of human bodies once the police have left the scene.

5. Pest Control Worker. Pest control workers use their knowledge of pests’ biology and habits along with an arsenal of pest management techniques — applying chemicals, setting traps, operating equipment, and even modifying structures — to alleviate pest problems. In short, pest control workers have to think like pests and go where pests go — usually to places that are dark, damp, and dirty. Plus, they get deal with chemicals.

6. Ape Urine Collector. This job sounds unreal but, sadly, it is not. Ape urine collectors are employed by scientists who need ape urine to study factors that affect their reproduction. The work involves tracking down apes and laying down large plastic sheets or attaching plastic bags to poles in hopes of catching adequate samples to analyze.

7. De-construction Worker. While this may seem like a variation of a regular construction job, the difference is that you’re not building something — you’re tearing it down. By the end of the day, deconstruction workers are literally covered dust, chipped paint, and dangerous debris such as glass. Still, while dirty and somewhat dangerous, deconstruction might also be strangely satisfying …

8. Zoo Cleaner. You’d think working at a zoo would be fun, and it probably is, if you’re the zookeeper. Zoo cleaners, on the other hand, are in charge of the behind-the-scenes work, which means cleaning the zoo as well as the animals, including the lost and forgotten places on their bodies. And remember — not all animals are as fastidious as house cats.

9. Hot-Zone Superintendent. Hot-zone superintendents perform maintenance work for bio-safety labs that study lethal airborne pathogens for which there is no known cure. These pathogens include disease-causing organisms such as anthrax. Given that it is a sterilized lab, the work is not dirty per se. But what it lacks in dirt, it makes up for in worry.

10. Dentist. Probably not the job most people would expect, but it definitely fits the bill. Dentists spend their days wading around one of the dirtiest cavities in the world — the human mouth — which combines some of the more repugnant features of all of the aforementioned jobs — blood, dirt, bugs, and disease. What’s more, unlike other bad jobs, which require little, if any, formal training, dentists are forced to endure years of schooling and pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to even practice their dirty job. Is it any wonder that dentistry boasts the highest rate of suicide of any profession?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kari Whitaker is a technical as well as creative writer. In addition to articles on education and careers, she also enjoys writing short stories, essays, and poetry.

In a forum devoted to education and careers, a blog devoted to this topic was inevitable — home-based business scams. Anyone who has an email account has gotten an email — if not a thousand — like this:

Earn an Extra $5K+ per month! Make your financial dreams happen! Free information and training package!

Usually, the email includes a testimonial or two from people “just like you.”

Before I started this business, I used to [insert bad career here]. But I started working [insert home-based business opportunity here] and made $2500 my first month! By my sixth month, I was making $11,000. This business is a dream come true!

Some of these emails can be fairly persuasive, especially if it’s been a tight month. I mean, who wouldn’t want to earn a little extra money? Then I think of the old adage, “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is,” and I realize I’m probably dealing with a home-based business scam. At that point, the email becomes ridiculous.

But the truth is that thousands — if not tens of thousands — of people fall for these scams every day. Sadly, for many of these people, that decision will be disastrous. Home-based business scams tend to target people who can ill afford such a misstep — the sick and disabled, the elderly, stay-at-home mothers, low-income families, and people lacking a college education. (Note: it’s not that people without college educations are less intelligent per se; rather, because they don’t have college degrees, chances are they are more inclined to take risks.)

For anyone who’s ever received these emails — or who every will — let me identify five of the most common and pernicious home business scams, which I’ve gleaned from several websites issuing similar warnings. Think of it as a public service announcement. Vote for the most pernicious (or for your personal favorite).

1. Multi-level Marketing (MLM) Basically, multi-level marketing entails selling some kind of product or service but also rewards the participant for recruiting other people to join. Typically, early recruits are paid by the entry fees gleaned from new recruits, who in turn must collect their rewards from others. Each level feeds (or builds) off the one after it, which is why MLMs are sometimes referred to as "pyramid schemes.” Granted, not all MLMs are true pyramid schemes — which is illegal in most states — but most MLMs still rely on deception in order to succeed. As such, beware of MLM "opportunities” that promise large incomes for selling dubious products and recruiting fellow distributors.

2. Reshipping Fraud Reshipping involves receiving mail merchandise and then repackaging and reshipping it for a substantial profit. Sounds easy, right? The only problem is that the merchandise was paid for with stolen credit cards, which means you — the reshipper — are acting as a “fence” for stolen goods. Reshipping fraud is relatively new to the realm of home-business fraud; as such, reshipping “opportunities” still appear in legitimate newspapers and websites, which lend them an air of credibility. Don’t be fooled. Reshipping fraud is not only illegal but also dangerous.

3. Craft Assembly The variations on this scam are legion, but essentially it involves a company outsourcing the assembly of its product to you. All you need is a start-up kit and raw materials, which you purchase from the company, of course, and which you can do at home. Once you’ve assembled the products — toys, magnets, jewelry — you send it back to the company only to find that your products “fail to meet specifications.” You’re left with a bunch of useless products and no one to sell them to. Beware.

4. Medical Billing The basic sales pitch with medical billing is that the health care industry is inundated with unprocessed paper claims and there’s a need for someone — you — to process these claims electronically. The beauty of this scam is that it’s true — there is a need and you can make money processing claims. The training you receive from promoters, while overpriced, will be legitimate. The only problem is that once you’ve finished your training you have to generate your own business. That’s where the scam comes in — promoters tend to over-hype their ability to get you contacts within the medical community. The fact is that few medical-billing entrepreneurs are able to attract clients and earn a reasonable income. The truth is that the medical billing market revolves around several large firms and competition is stiff.

5. Envelope Stuffing The doyen of home-based business scams has been around since the 1920s. One website even referred to it as the “cockroach you just can’t eliminate.” Basically, this scam involves you sending off a fee to learn how to make money stuffing envelopes from home. Shortly thereafter, you get a letter telling you to place a similar envelope-stuffing ad in magazines and newspapers. That way, people will send money to you to learn how to make money stuffing envelopes. You, in turn, send them a similar letter about placing envelope-stuffing ads in other magazines and newspapers. In short, the way you earn money stuffing envelopes is by propagating the envelope-stuffing scam.

To conclude, let me just observe what these home-based business scams have in common: it’s true that they lie, exaggerate, and misrepresent their products and services. That being said, the only reason they work is because people let themselves be carried away by delusions of “getting rich quick” or “making easy money.” In other words, these scams, like all confidence games, feed off of greed and, in some cases, desperation. Don’t be a victim. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Remember that the only foolproof ways to increase your earning potential are hard work and education.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Benjamin Welch has been a college instructor in writing and composition for nearly six years. When he’s not teaching or playing golf, he offers advice for students seeking information about online education and online degrees.

I thought we’d depart from education-based themes to examine what students are looking forward to — namely, work. Or to be more precise, the "vertical workstation." The vertical workstation was recently featured on a MSNBC.com segment entitled, appropriately, "What Were They Thinking?" Evidently, what some researchers at the Mayo Clinic were thinking was that American workers are a little too beefy, which is why they came up with a treadmill-mounted desk. Evidently, by walking while you work, you can burn about 100 calories an hour or about 66 pounds per year.

Now the associate editor at MSNBC.com poked some fun at the vertical workstation, which is probably well-deserved, but I happen to think the idea is genius. Here’s why.

First of all, it enables a new generation of legitimate excuses for getting out of work. Think about how many days-off you could secure with a high ankle sprain or a severe blister courtesy of your new workstation? Best of all, because these are work-related injuries you may be entitled to workers’ compensation.

Second, the vertical workstation could become a handy scapegoat for the usual work-a-day gaffes, like misspelling a co-worker’s name or forgetting to submit a weekly report. After all, it’s hard to walk and type at the same time, right?

Next, the vertical workstation will totally revamp the idea of business casual. Polo shirts and slacks will soon be replaced by dry-fit shirts, baggy shorts, running shoes, and iPods — all bearing the corporate logo, of course. Still, who wouldn’t want to dress down a little more for the sake of health and fitness in the workplace?

Finally, three words: "vertical workstation high." It is a common phenomenon for experienced runners to get a rush of endorphins about seven to ten miles into a strenuous run. And although I’ve never experienced this "runner’s high" myself, my calculations indicate that if I stepped onto a vertical workstation in the morning and slow-walked feverishly at a three-to-five-mile-an-hour clip, I could get several all-natural chemical fixes every day.

I don’t know about you, but that’s enough incentive to make me a vertical workstation junky? What about you?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Benjamin Welch has been a college instructor in writing and composition for nearly six years. When he’s not teaching or playing golf, he offers advice for students seeking information about continuing education, online education and online degrees.