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To watch the trailer for 10,000 BC is to be bombarded by a host of prehistoric-ish images. Kind of a highlight reel of all the visually cool stuff from a few million years of time. I’m no anthropologist, but I took an obligatory class on anthropology during my college education. I’ve also watched my fill of Discovery Channel shows on prehistoric animals. By the end of the trailer, one thought kept circulating through my brain: I don’t think all those things- cavemen, saber-toothed cats, giant carnivorous birds, etc.- existed at the same time. After a few years away from the textbook, however, I’m a little rusty. So I decided to do some research.

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In the interest of trivia and fact-based entertainment, I have made a short list of the facts and fiction that audiences will encounter this weekend when they watch 10,000 BC. This should save at least a few of you from humiliating yourselves at anthropological conferences or on dates with paleontologists. Use the following trivia to wow your friends during the movie:

Woolly Mammoth – Known officially as Mammuthus primigenius, this hairy cousin of the elephant was alive and thriving in 10,000 BC. Earliest fossil records of woolly mammoth date back 150,000 years. The last mammoths were believed to have perished around 1,700 BC. So it fits into the general timeframe of the movie. Whether it was harnessed for building pyramids is another story.

Saber-toothed Tiger – Saber-toothed cats would have been alive during the film’s time period but would have been on the way out. The last saber-toothed mammals went extinct circa 9,000 BC. With their eight-inch canines and 800-pound frames, these big cats would have been widely feared by dreadlocked, dirty-faced cavemen everywhere.

Humans – Humans were no newcomers in 10,000 BC. In fact, DNA evidence indicates that modern humans originated in Africa about 200,000 years ago.

Terror birds – Picture huge, flightless birds, bigger than ostriches, with an appetite for flesh and the speed to catch it, and you’ve got the giant killer chickens formally referred to as Phorusrhacids, or terror birds. Of course, the word “terror” is a dead giveaway. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), it is highly unlikely that the hero of 10,000 BC would encounter these beasties for two reasons: 1) terror birds weren’t around in 10,000 BC, having gone the way of the dodo around 1.2 million years ago, and 2) they were known to inhabit South and North America, not Europe or Africa where the movie takes place.

Pyramids – I know that towering pyramids are much more spectacularly cinematic than, say, thatched huts. But, sorry, even the earliest pyramids known to man go back only as far as 2700 BC. The earliest known pyramid, predating even the pyramids of Egypt, is the Pyramid of Hellinikon in Argolid, Greece, which is actually not much bigger than a public restroom. Like I said, less than cinematic.

Bow and arrow – That formerly-cool-but-now-cliché shot from the trailer where that guy shoots an arrow right at the camera might not have been able to happen in real life. The earliest known use of the bow and arrow dates back to 9,000 BC. I guess it’s cooler than the guy just tossing a rock at the camera.

Ahh… 10,000 BC looks like escapism at its uneducated best. Want to learn to make similarly non-factual but visually appealing films? Check out these easy degrees in film and video production. Have you seen 10,000 BC yet? If you loved it, feel free to berate me below…