DISTANCE LEARNING | CONTINUING EDUCATION | ONLINE DEGREES

College professors will be the first to tell you that their lives are boring. They don’t usually find themselves in critter-infested catacombs, duking it out with rabid Nazis or fighting supernatural beasts. They don’t find themselves becoming the victims of their own research, gaining superhuman powers in the process. They especially don’t find themselves in the arms of beautiful, cosmopolitan women. I mean, let’s face it: these guys make a living teaching half-conscious college kids and either reading others’ research or producing their own. They get more involved with spreadsheets and computer models than they do with any damsels in distress.

1. Indiana Jones, The Indiana Jones Quadrilogy

2. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters I & II

3. Charles Xavier, The X-Men Trilogy

4. Sherman Klump, The Nutty Professor I & II

5. John Nash, A Beautiful Mind

6. Emmett Brown, The Back to the Future Trilogy

7. Mickey Rosa, 21

8. Robert Langdon, The Da Vinci Code

9.  Professor Kirke, The Chronicles of Narnia

10. Alan Grant, Jurassic Park I & III

College roommates can be less than desirable. Let’s be honest: they can be downright revolting. Some are severely challenged in hygiene and organizing skills. Some are insanely clean and demand the same of others. Some take your stuff. Some won’t give you a thing. Some are too loud. Some are freakishly quiet.

To commemorate these annoying, infuriating, and sometimes endearing habits, we have compiled the following list of bad habits. Vote for which ones you think are most annoying:

Borrowing without asking (a.k.a. stealing) – Includes taking or using clothes, electronics, food, toiletries, dishes, CDs, DVDs, magazines, and books. It also includes not contributing to the purchase of common items, like toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc.

Picking nose – Includes dredging the nasal passage walls for mucous build-up. Most troubling cases involve ingestion of removed mucous or depositing of mucous on furniture. Leaving used tooth floss or q-tips around may also fall under this category.

Leaving dishes unwashed – Includes using dishes, silverware, or cookware and then leaving them in an uncleaned state. Whether they are left in the kitchen sink, on the coffee table, or buried under a pile of clothing, any abandonment of unclean dishes falls under this category.

Not taking a bath – Includes lack of regular showering or bathing within two or more days of the last instance of showering or bathing. Sponge baths do not constitute showering or bathing.

Being too noisy – Includes playing music, shouting, laughing, or otherwise generating noise at higher than acceptable sound decibel levels, especially during sleeping or study times. However, if noise occurs during other times, you may be guilty of improperly assuming authority (see below).

Being a recluse – Includes not returning greetings, not reciprocating polite conversation when offered, hiding in one’s room, or otherwise inhibiting reasonable communication and interaction with one’s roommate.

Always having company over – Includes continuous presence of non-roommate persons in the premises, especially at inopportune times of the day to the point of encroaching on privacy and personal property. Level of annoyance depends largely on physical appearance of and unwanted noise generated by non-roommate persons.

Creating unfavorable odors – Includes gastrointestinal expulsions, poorly prepared food items, lack of personal hygiene, and odors originating from environmental hazards that are the result of neglect (i.e. dirty clothes hamper).

Improper assumption of authority – Includes all communications, both verbal and nonverbal, implying a dominant role on the part of the communicator. Common examples include leaving out sarcastic notes, scolding, and glaring disapprovingly.

Overuse of facilities – Includes exceeding one’s daily hot water quota, toilet time quota, or remote control time quota.

Tell us which ones annoy you the most. Got one to add to the list? Tell us about it below…

I stumbled upon a college-themed website entitled "You Know You’re in College When …" — sort of a variation of Jeff Foxworthy’s "You Know You’re a Redneck If …" only for college students. After reviewing the list of 118 indicators, I came to the conclusion that while some signs are especially true of college life — i.e. "You pay $100 for a book you don’t read once, return it four months later, and get $7" — many signs are simply indicative of being young and poor. Still, very troubling … and yet somehow still very entertaining.

Here are ten of my favorite "signs" from the website as well as a few of my own.

1. High school started before 8 a.m., but now anything before noon is considered "early."

2. Your primary news sources are The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

3. You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.

4. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.

5. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger … when you’re both home.

6. You wear flip flops in the shower … you know why.

7. Old-school Nintendo and Guitar Hero are pretty much the best things ever.

8. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.

9. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.

10. You text faster than you type.

Not included in the list but also true of college life — at least in my experience — are:

11. When you go to "nice restaurants," you gorge yourself on the free appetizers — popcorn, chips and salsa, bread — and then order a soft drink or fries as your entrée.

12. The last time your car was legally registered was during the Clinton Years.

13. You have more than one item of clothing from the Salvation Army or another thrift stores — and it’s not part of a costume.

14. Every Saturday, you test-drive new cars or look at upscale furniture just to get the free hot dogs and drinks.

15. You can intelligently discuss Newtonian physics, the political philosophy of Adam Locke, and the poetry of John Donne, but you still can’t iron a shirt.

Any signs you would add to the list?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Benjamin Welch has been a college instructor in writing and composition for nearly six years. When he’s not teaching or playing golf, he offers advice for students seeking information about continuing education, online education and online degrees.