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The American public has spent the last nine years bombarding Britney with criticism and ridicule. Then, recently, as she was carted away in an ambulance, we did an about face, and now everyone is offering to help. Dr. Phil tried to help, albeit clumsily. Heidi Klum offered to let her crash at her house. Justin and Timbaland are offering to help Brit rebuild her career. Everybody, it seems, wants in on the action. So why not you?

Do you want a piece of the save-Britney-from-herself pie? If so, you have two options: 1) get really famous and/or rich so the media cares about what you say (even though you really have no credibility) or 2) become a true expert in the following fields, charge onto the scene, and take care of business. Chances of achieving the first are minimal. So I recommend pursuing the latter. Brit will need help from the following types of professionals in the next few years:

1. Lawyer – Clients like Britney are a dream come true for lawyers: she’s always in trouble with the law and she has plenty of money to keep a lawyer working on her cases. In the last year alone, Britney has accumulated more than her fair share of legal woes.

Would you like to be the next in line to keep Britney out of the slammer? Consider a career in the law. Besides, if Britney ever straightens out her life, there will always be other screw-up celebrities to keep you employed. Classes and Careers can help you get off on the right foot with Legal and Paralegal Studies Degrees.

2. Psychiatrist – Having been groomed, enhanced, and told she wasn’t good enough and, simultaneously, she was the center of the universe since she was eleven years old, Britney has some deep-seated issues to work out. After the dust has settled from custody cases and drug rehab, Britney will still likely need psychiatric help.

Help lift Britney out of that deep, dark hole and become a psychiatrist. Exercise caution, however. Don’t, for instance, visit her at the emergency room and then, against all rules of patient confidentiality, relate to the press the graveness of Britney’s mental state. Find out more about how to become a Doctor in Psychology.

3. Rehab counselor – First things first, Britney needs to learn to just say no. You can be there for her by starting a career in rehab counseling. Teach Britney to pass on grass and all the other crazy stuff she’s been using and you will be a hero of the “Save Britney” community. Then we can all go back to mocking her without feeling guilty. All thanks to you! Find out what it takes to become a rehab counselor with a Master’s in Community Counseling.

4. Social worker – No, social workers don’t just take people’s kids away from them. They also take struggling parents under their wing and teach them how to be better moms and dads. As a social worker, you could teach Britney how to boil spaghetti noodles or make Mickey Mouse-shaped pancakes- all the things she missed while she was being pushed to be a global superstar. How do you become a social worker? Social Sciences Degrees.

5. Parenting specialist – Social workers can only do so much. Parenting specialists teach parents how to teach, nurture, and discipline their kids appropriately. If you want to get those kids back from that lousy K-Fed, help Britney learn to be Mom of the Year. Find out how to become Britney’s parenting specialist by acquiring a Master’s in Marriage and Family Counseling.

We can all do our part to help Britney put her life back together. If you’ve got the desire, Classes and Careers can help.