DISTANCE LEARNING | CONTINUING EDUCATION | ONLINE DEGREES

Bosses have a way of rubbing us the wrong way. As nice as it would be to open a can of Jedi punishment on them, most of us usually take the more civilized route, which usually involves continuing to laugh at their unfunny jokes, kiss their butts, and gripe about them to our co-workers.

In this video, the Emperor’s latest Sith apprentice Herbert, a lowly, socially challenged programmer, goes to the Dark Side when his boss goes too far. Boss haters throughout the world, this one’s for you. (Note: don’t read into this too much; we love our boss

If for some reason you cannot see the video below, go here: Star Wars Office Humor

After the initial novelty of starting new classes, meeting new professors and friends, finding your new classrooms, and buying ridiculously overpriced textbooks, things start to slow down. Sometimes, usually during a really boring afternoon lecture, things can seem to stop completely. The professor’s voice melts into the din of the air conditioner. Eyes glaze over. Heads nod. Mouths trail drool across notebooks.

This kind of boredom can be hazardous to your education. It can become a self-perpetuating spiral of boredom, disinterest, and poor performance. Subjects that you otherwise would have mastered become a black mark on your academic record.

Don’t let this happen to you! Beat boredom in the classroom before it ruins your life. Take a moment to resuscitate your mental faculties with some fun and games. Your career is depending on it!

Following are five fun games you can play under the radar during lecture, in addition to the host of online games available. Some are old school, some high tech. All are guaranteed to break the boredom cycle and renew your love of learning without getting caught by the professor:

1. Stick Man Kung Fu Battle

Anyone can draw a stick man. To launch a fight sequence worthy of Jet Li, both people start with a simple stick figure each. They then take turns striking at the other person. Weapons and armor can be added, but adding a piece of armor or weaponry takes up a turn. Each stickman is as immortal as imagination allows- you know, using force fields, regrowing severed limbs, etc. The action can literally continue indefinitely, certainly for an hour of class time.

Be careful of a few things. Keep your sound effects and soundtrack to a minimum. Also, do not get so excited that you exclaim out loud or otherwise alert the professor to your activities. If you have to trashtalk, just write it down. Keep it on the down low, and let the smackdown continue.

2. Cell Phone Shame

Any college student knows that cell phones have become public enemy number of self-important college professors everywhere. One’s ring tone going off in the middle of lecture first brings a raised eyebrow of contempt from the professor. A second ring can halt the lecture altogether. A third may bring a verbal rebuke from the professor and a permanent place on his naughty list. Students, however, can capitalize on this new social faux pas.

To get the action started, call an unsuspecting friend across the room. If she has forgotten to turn off her ringer, her phone will chirp loudly, incurring the disgusted glare of the professor. She will quickly deactivate the ringer and shoot you a dirty look. Continue this attack on every student across the room until every face is red with embarrassment and the professor has completely lost his composure. Be careful, however; if you are discovered, the professor will most certainly make an example of you.

3. Passing Notes

Old-fashioned? Yes. Out of style? Never. Of course, you can opt for a simple scrap of paper or just use text or instant messenger. You can trashtalk, make fun of people in the room, ask people if they think your friend is cute, ask them what their favorite My Little Pony is, ask them who their favorite New Kid on the Block is, etc.

4. Capture (aka Boxes or Dots)

For the more strategy-minded people out there, this game is a classic. Best of all, you can play it with a simple pen and paper. Just draw a grid of dots- the more, the better. The players take turns drawing a line between two adjacent dots with the goal of creating squares. Every time they complete a square, the player marks that square with their initials. The player with the most squares finished at the end is the winner.

5. Laser Pointer

Hazardous schmazardous! Those little ruby-red dots are guaranteed to generate laughs. Moving the dot around on people tends to be funny, especially when they can’t see it. Especially brave souls may want to try pointing at the professor or at the screen when his back is turned. Getting your friends in the eyes can be funny, but not for a prolonged period of time. Warning: do not point the laser in the eyes of people who are not your friends. That could get you beat up. Getting beat up is not fun. Another warning: do not point the laser in people’s eyes during a lecture on optical health.

What good is learning if you’re not having fun? Take some time to wake up and have a laugh. Then get back to work and remember, you didn’t hear it from me.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.

Most workplaces get pretty boring, especially after the holiday season. The decorations come down. All that holiday cheer and free food disappears. People grow grim and depressed at the prospect of three months ahead without any major holidays. The gray walls begin to blend in with the oatmeal-colored cubicles and carpets. On top of this significant drop in office morale, all of the year’s new projects kick into gear at once, inundating desks with ridiculous amounts of requests, meeting invitations, and memos. Not a fun time.

But you don’t have to be satisfied with this morasse of malcontent. You can be the deliverer to bring fun and smiles back to the workplace and free your co-workers from possibly terminal boredom. It doesn’t take a pep rally to liven things up, just a few old school antics that you thought you left in immaturity. Below I give you the top five of these. They are guaranteed to loosen up your co-workers (or get you fired, if someone puts an eye out):

1. Paper Football

With a single sheet of paper, a desk, and two pairs of hands, you and a co-workers can entertain yourselves through four quarters of paper-flicking fun. You just fold the paper into a tight triangle, your opponent forms a goalpost with his hands, and you try to flick the paper through his hands. I believe extra points should be rewarded for hitting your opponent in the forehead, but I am yet to get an opponent to agree with me on that one.

In case the boss comes around, this game is easy to conceal. Keep an important-looking spreadsheet nearby. When you hear the boss approaching, simply signal a timeout, lower your hands, pocket the triangle, stare at the spreadsheet with a concerned look, and state, "No, I’m not satisfied with that IRR. It needs to be higher." The boss will beam with pride and return to his office believing that his department is in good hands.

2. Paper Clip Toss With a high risk of bodily injury, this game also provides a visceral thrill to get that adrenaline pumping. Assuming your neighbor on the other side of the cubicle wall is game, you simply toss a paper clip over and watch a war ensue. They’ll say, "Hey!" Then a paper clip flies over at you in retaliation. Next, you can strike immediately or wait until they’ve settled back into their work. The latter is a better option because of the element of surprise. They might say "Hey!" again or "Ow!" if you hit them in the eye.

To enhance the game, you can secretly provoke a war between two of your neighbors. It’s easy. You just throw a paper clip at one at such an angle that they think it came from your other neighbor. If they retaliate against your other neighbor, then you can just sit back and enjoy the show. If they don’t retaliate initially, you can prod the other neighbor by throwing a paper clip at them. Keep alternating back and forth until they commit to full-on war, then enjoy the show.

3. Rubber Band War

This game raises the stakes even higher. Welts are highly possible as are eye injuries. Even more risky, however, accurate firing of rubber bands requires a direct line of sight. You have to stand up, move around, or otherwise expose yourself to a possible sighting by the boss. Also, unlike with many co-workers will not take kindly to the snap of a rubber band. Shooting the wrong person can easily get you reprimanded or fired. Therefore, pick your targets carefully.

One more caveat: don’t get carried away. Discreetly peeking and shooting each other can quickly escalate into running around the room, giggling, and otherwise exposing yourself to the boss. At that point, it would be impossible to conceal your involvement.

4. Swivel Chair Merry-go-round

This game is for the bold only. An employee whirling around at high speeds is bound to catch someone’s eye. An employee falling out of the chair and hurling all over the floor is bound to get someone fired. But, for the brave, I recommend this game. One employee takes a seat in a swivel chair. Another employee takes hold of the chair and spins it. They keep spinning it faster and faster until the employee in the chair begs for mercy. At this point they are so dizzy and nauseous that they will probably lose their balance. Keep them seated for at least a minute to avoid head injuries. They may need to go home for the rest of the day with a headache so use this one sparingly.

This game should be played when the boss is stuck in a meeting, out of town, or at home. Also make sure that the chair used is solid and in good working condition.

5. M.A.S.H.

No, not that Korean War TV show. I’m talking about that classic old school game that has entertained elementary school kids for decades. You know, Mansion Apartment Shack House? Considerably less dangerous, this game requires a pen, paper, and at least two people. Its whole purpose is to predict who you will marry, what you will drive, what color your ride will be, how many kids you will have, where you will live, what job you will have, and what kind of residence you will live in. For instance, I just played it online and ended up marrying Sandra Bullock, driving a blue minivan, having twenty kids, living in a house on the poor side of the tracks, and working as a garbage man, all of which isn’t too far from reality.

For the uninitiated, here are the instructions. You write down five people, five automobiles, five colors, five numbers of kids, five locations, and five jobs, all of these being possibilities for the employee’s future. Of course, some of the options have to be less desirable than others. You arrange these lists in a row. You then tell the administrator your favorite number. They take the number and count down the list. Every time they reach your lucky number they cross off that item. They repeat this process, going through the lists again and again until only one item remains in each category.

Let the games begin and the boredom end! If not you, who? If not now, when? Seize the day and free your co-workers from the doldrums of the workaday world. And don’t blame me if you are handed your possessions in a box and told to leave immediately.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.