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Recession-proof Careers: Criminal Investigation


Thursday, April 17th, 2008


Do you like to show up at crime scenes with a fake badge and pretend you’re CSI’s Grissom? Do you have a closetful of Columbo-style trenchcoats just waiting for their day in the sun? If so, the Department of Labor has great news!

Careers in criminal investigation are looking better than ever, even with a recession looming. In fact, security careers, which include criminal investigators, were listed recently in Yahoo!’s list of “recession-proof” careers. It makes sense. Criminals don’t take a break when the economy slumps; and neither do criminal investigators.

Fortunately, if you’re willing to get rid of your fake badge and go back to school, criminal investigation careers are easier to get into than ever.

Criminal investigators gather the facts, collect the evidence, and build the cases to put criminals behind bars. Vital to law enforcement, investigators use advanced surveillance techniques and computer databases to stop illegal activity, provide evidence for prosecution or defense teams, protect assets, and help find missing people. They conduct interviews, examine records, observe suspects, and participate in raids and arrests. Criminal investigators tend to specialize in areas such as computer crime, forensic psychology, crime analysis, crime scene investigation, and fraud examination.

Fortunately, the criminal investigations industry is expected to increase in size, despite the economic downturn. As drug- and computer-related crimes rise and our society becomes more security-conscious, job opportunities for criminal investigators will continue to increase. Individuals with Criminal Investigation degrees can choose from various jobs, from police detective to corporate investigator to loss prevention agent. They can expect to make, on average, between $45,000 and $80,000 with great benefits, stability, and plentiful opportunities for advancement.

Best of all, criminal investigation degrees can be obtained in relatively little time and with minimal investment. New online degree programs are allowing more future criminal investigators to get their careers in less time and on their own schedule, most in two to four years.

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5 Ways to Stay Employed


Friday, April 4th, 2008


80,000 jobs were cut in March in the U.S. 152,000 jobs total were lost in February and January. So, with that comforting thought, is anyone else here freaking out? I can’t sleep at night, thinking about how I’m going stay out of the dreaded unemployment line. Visions keep going through my mind of me serving snowcones out of one of those portable booths this summer or worse: me substitute-teaching in the public school system! Aaaaaahhhhh!!!! That’s about when I wake up in a cold sweat, rush to my laptop, and start madly sending out resumes to anyone and everyone I can (except the public school system, of course).

If you’re as paranoid as I am about having a job three months from now, here are five suggestions from a frantic mind on how to keep your job during the recession:

1. Blackmail the boss Remember that company holiday party where your manager got up and sang “I’m Too Sexy” after one too many shots of egg nog? Remember how you caught the whole performance on your camera phone? Now is the time to put that footage to good use.

2. Knock off the competition There are many subtle ways to get rid of that annoying new guy horning in on your territory, threatening to remove you from the picture. Talk him into taking projects that are bound to fail, for instance. Undermine his efforts behind the scenes. Catch him breaking company rules and report him anonymously to HR. Desperate times call for unkind, underhanded measures.

3. Kiss up to the boss Bosses love to have their egos stroked and they hate to get rid of people who stroke their ego. There’s always someone else more annoying, more unpleasant to be around that they could ax, but you? No. You make them feel good, feel like they can conquer the world.

4. Become entrenched Every office has a few individuals who know where everything is, how everything works. They hold esoteric knowledge in their brains that no one else seems to know, and they lock it away there like Fort Knox. These people will never be laid off because the knowledge vacuum that would open in their absence would cause the organization to implode. Be one of these people.

5. Become a superstar Perhaps the best way to ensure your survival during a recession is to be the guy who brings in the most money. You’ve been reserving all your star power for an occasion like this. Now is the time to go above and beyond. Now is the time to be proactive and bring in new business. Now is the time to generate ideas that cut costs or increase revenue. Now is the time to be the MVP they can’t stand to lose. Good luck to you in the recession! Stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours…




Recession-Survival Tips


Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008


No one is announcing it formally, but a recession is on its way, if it is not here already. Recession means the job market is going to get a lot tighter. What does this mean for working professionals and upcoming college grads alike? Does this mean the job market and the workplace will become a virtual American Gladiators arena where the weak and uncommitted are run asunder by the powerful and ambitious? Not quite. But it is time to bring your A-game and be prepared for the worst.

Your game plan should be two-pronged: make yourself as invincible as possible and create a safety net. The coming job market will be handling an overwhelming surplus of applicants. With company belts tightening, employers will be looking for the absolute most bang for their buck. Taken together, this means employers will pick and choose between candidates with the highest level of scrutiny. Only those who can offer real value to the company will survive the sifting process. Those with weak credentials or performance may soon find themselves in the unemployment line. Also, of course, nothing is guaranteed in markets like these, even for the most deserving. Take steps to prepare for the possibility of unemployment.

The following four tips will help you survive the coming recession with your shirt on. Put your best foot forward and watch your back, and you will live to fight another day. You might even find yourself riding higher than ever:

1. Make yourself indispensable.

Think about it: Who gets laid off in a recession? The love handles of the organization, the excess weight, the folks that are not essential to the company’s future. Your focus, therefore, should be on getting your name into that pool of people who are indispensable to the organization, those who are the heart, brain, or lungs of the company.

How do you accomplish this? If you are an upcoming college grad, you should be focusing on obtaining skills and experience that will say to recruiters that you will be a strong contributor to their company. First you want to be clearly superior to your job-hunting peers. You might work on gaining relevant certificates or taking on internships. You should be going above and beyond the crowd in participating in relevant extracurricular activities, like business competitions or field studies. Second, you want that superiority to translate clearly to value added for the company. Show in your resume and interviews how these skills and experience will equal success for their company. The candidate who can bring the most to the table and plainly show how they will benefit the company will win the job.

If you are a working professional, you also can obtain relevant degrees or certificates on the side. Most of your advantage will be found, however, in embedding yourself into the most vital functions of the business. Take on the most important projects and knock the ball out of the ballpark. Volunteer to be a part of new, important initiatives. Make yourself absolutely crucial to their plans. When they are considering who to let go, they will tremble at the thought of losing you. Maybe Joe in the next cubicle over, but certainly not you.

2. Mine your network.

Most people wait until they’ve been handed their walking papers to start calling friends and family looking for jobs. Obviously, that is too late. Networking now is one of the best things you can do to ensure that you have a job later for a couple reasons. During a recession, employers are inundated with job applications and resumes. Going through friends and family allows you to cut through all of that clutter and get straight to the decision-makers. It also gives you that extra boost over most of your competitors.

If you are getting ready to graduate, get on the phone with Uncle Charlie and Grandma Joyce and you will find yourself leaps and bounds beyond most of your peers, most of whom are likely pouring resumes into Monster.com and Careerbuilder.com which will be destined for that black hole where internet resumes go. If you are catching negative vibes at work, start mining your friends now. Having another job to fall back on is always a good thing. And who knows? You may actually network yourself into an even better job.

3. Cut down your debt.

The people who fare the worst during recessions are those who have procrastinated resolving their financial problems. In the event that you lost your income, nothing would put the nail in the coffin faster than exorbitant credit card payments. No, the Piper does not take a break during a recession; he mails you, calls you, takes your boat, car, big screen TV, house, and the shirt off your back if he has to. He will get paid. That’s why it’s best to minimize, or eliminate altogether, your relationship with the Piper before you find yourself empty-handed.

Begin now to say no to additional credit card spending and yes to putting as much money as you can into reducing your consumer debt. Learn to live lean. Once you’ve lost your job, it’s too late to decide to get those bills under control. Do yourself a huge favor and start now. Maybe you’ll keep your job. Maybe you’ll end up make more than you did before. But you will never regret take this step toward financial freedom.

4. Put some money away.

Experts recommend having three- to six-months worth of income set aside for a rainy day. I know, in this day and age of wild consumer spending, this advice sounds like it came straight from your great-aunt Dolores. I mean, how can you possibly set aside that much money? Most of us are lucky if we have anything in our savings accounts. But let’s be realistic here: an average severance package is around two-weeks pay. It takes more than two weeks to find, start, and get paid for a new job. The bills won’t stop coming in. What choice do we have but to put some amount of money away, at least enough to pay the bills for a few weeks?

Saving money sounds old-fashionable now. But it won’t when you don’t have to worry about Bruno the Repo Man showing up in the middle of the night to take your BMW. In fact, Great-Aunt Dolores is sounding better and better.

You’re probably realizing by now that the key to surviving a recession is to get ahead of the curve. Six months from now, authorities will announce that the recession is official. Everyone else will be going bonkers. But not you, my friend. If you’ve heeded my advice, you will be resting easy.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.

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