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One of my favorite things to do is read the college police blotters. It seems that no matter where the college is located, how many students it has, and how "prestigious" it claims to be, no college can avoid being embarrassed by a few of its students (and its visitors). I found interesting police blotters from colleges all over the country, and I couldn’t believe some of the hilarious things that happen on campus. Here they are, in no particular order.

From Middlesex County College:

Keep your parents on a very short leash! Police had to issue a defiant trespass ticket to a student’s father after the man became agitated because he was not permitted to obtain a sticker to update his son’s student ID card (only the son, who is an adult, by the way, had authorization to access his file). The father became so angry that he made terroristic threats, harassed a staff member, and was cited for disorderly conduct.

From Dartmouth:

Don’t get too desperate to find a date. A 28-year-old man who was visiting the Dartmouth campus was swimming in a local swimming area frequented by Dartmouth students when lifeguards noticed that he appeared to be drowning. After swimming out to help him, several students and lifeguards realized that the man was not wearing a swimsuit and was not drowning, but instead was pretending to drown so that female students would swim near him.

From Morgan State University:

Don’t let classes stress you out too much. After bookstore clerks asked a student to check his backpack (which is mandatory in most college bookstores), the man became highly agitated and began yelling profanities at the clerk. The student continued to ignore the clerk’s request and use profanities until police arrived and issued a judicial citation.

From Weber State University:

Make sure to take Driving 101: How to apply a parking brake. When a student returned to his parked car, he noticed that someone else had parked extremely close to him. In fact, the bumper of the red Volkswagen bug was touching the bumper of his Honda. The man got into his car and began to drive away, but then he realized that the Volkswagen was rolling with his car. The other driver had not used the parking brake, and the Volkswagen was only staying in place because of the student’s Honda. An officer secured the car and helped the student drive away.

From the University of Texas at Dallas:

Don’t drink if you’re underage. After an underage student cut himself on a beer bottle while playing around with his friends, he told the college staff member who was administering first aid that it was indeed a beer bottle (instead of just saying a "bottle"), and instead of just getting reprimanded for rough-housing with glass bottles, he was also issued a citation for consumption of alcohol by a minor.

From California State University:

And you thought you had weird neighbors! A student called police after noticing a suspicious-looking man staring at the stoplights at a street intersection and then sticking broken tree limbs in the cracks of the sidewalk. The person who called police went over to ask the man if he was OK, but the man would not respond.

From North Carolina State University:

Want revenge? Apparently, using your backside is the new fad. A man visiting the campus was issued a trespass warning after police caught him removing his pants and underwear and rubbing his buttocks on the hood of someone else’s vehicle.

From Dickinson College:

Don’t burn that food! After a fire alarm was set off by food left cooking on a stove, police discovered a number of other violations. They found four underage students who were drinking alcohol, others who possessed drugs and drug paraphernalia, some weapons violations, as well as health and safety violations.

From Rutgers College:

When pulling a prank, make sure it’s not on yourself! A male freshman decided it would be funny to pull the fire alarm at in a building on campus at 3:30 in the morning. After police apprehended him, they not only charged him with fraud for setting a false alarm, but they also discovered he had a fake ID and wrote him up for that as well.

About the author

Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.