Divorce to Remarriage - Meeting the Kids - How to Impress Them Not Depress Them

Post divorce dating can be a nightmare. Now you've found someone you really like, and it's time to introduce them to the kids. Today, let's look at 4 simple steps to use in that first meeting between your new partner and kids.

Don't introduce them too early

Be sure this is a committed relationship before you bring your date home. Having a revolving door of boyfriends or girlfriends is really hard on kids. Just when they start to get used to someone you're on to another partner. This causes kids to become less likely to accept someone later on down the road when things really are serious because they're tired of getting hurt.

Don't do Disney World

A lot of couples make the mistake of the first meeting being some grand affair. If you're going to marry this person, the kids need to get to know them in a genuine way. They need to get a taste for who this person is from the very beginning. A meeting at a park or in your home with dinner and a movie rental are much more conducive to laying the foundation for what real life will be like.

Don't have your partner bring their kids too

This first meeting needs to be about your partner getting to know your kids. Other kids around can cause things to get distracting. Your kids can easily avoid getting to know your partner by just hanging out with the other kids. Now, I don't expect every minute of the first meeting to be spent focusing exclusively on your children but the door needs to be wide open for the opportunity for conversation and questions in order to get to know one another.

Don't expect a lot from your kids other than for them to be respectful

This is weird for kids. Thinking of their parents having a boyfriend or girlfriend just may not feel right. Remember that this meeting is the bringing together of strangers. Acknowledge that this is going to be awkward for everyone! Give the kids permission to express their discomfort. But, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, the expectation that they are to be respectful toward your partner like they would any other adult should be stated firmly.

No matter who we are meeting or what the situation, meeting someone for the first time can be awkward. This first meeting is especially charged because it's vitally important to you that these two groups of people you love dearly come to like each other so you can begin to experience them together. Be prepared for this to take some time. Don't force it and let it happen naturally.

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